i was never expecting this kind of rubbish life...i want to do work but i don't even have motivation to do, i pass most of the time infront of computer but i don't know wat i want to do...i don't even go thru any docs or any site...just randomly clicking the links, don't know whr i want to land...same is happening in remaining time, nothing is looking good nw a days, everything is so boring. How jolly and charming person i was, i used to think that i will never feel like i am feeling now.
almost every moment in the evening i used to sit with my pencil and some blank papers, don't know wat i want to write or draw, but there is something that enforces me to get up in the night with the same feeling that i shud write something....
yesterday samething happened to me, i got up at 1 and started writing on paper...may be some poem, that is the thing by which i show my feelings, but after few min. wat happend i switched off lights, and went back to sleep...today in the office as well, i went down to the building, half an hour i was just wandering around, feeling very lonely, and upset...God ! help me, i write everything in my diary but don't want to share with anyone, i want to tell something to anyone but don't like any company, my frends in my office told me most of the time, whenever u go for lunch, just call us, but i like solitude now a days...sit alone in dark in my room, fall into deep thoughts....want to hide somewhr,want to run away somewhr..don't know whr....!!
I WANT TO BE WAT I WAS IN MY COLLEGE DAYS...!! I M NOT LIKING THIS PHASE...VERY PAINFUL IT IS....
There are other issues as well...which make me tense...it's kind of depressing somepoint of time. Don't know when will i return to my originality....uffff
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2 comments:
kya hua mittal...why u want to be in college again..see there are two things..one thing if you want good old days to come back thats not possible ...the other thing is if u want to come here and live u will find urself in more depression...because here u will look for some familiar faces(friends) which u wont find...i myself was bit depressed initially ...i was looking here for some one i have seen earlier ....but i am cool now..so always look ahead dont look back....
yeah u r rite pk...
i meant the same.
quite boring here...but chal raha hai bas
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