Saturday, June 19, 2010
Sunday, August 16, 2009
H1N1 Panic
Yesterday everything was fine. I slept well but next day would be so horrible I couln't imagine. Today till afternoon I was happily living even there was H1N1 panic in the air. I had been suffering from mild cough for last few days, but I didn't care much, because I am alergic to dust, so it was normal for me. But today when suddenly I got fever and soon after I realized very mild pain in my throat, kind of tonsil, I suddenly opened few sites to know the symptoms of H1N1 and my symptoms. OMG, I have 2 symptoms out of so many. And worst part is that saturday I played cricket so much that I realised so much pain in my body. I almost thought I would be dead in next few days.
I am going to work from home tomorrow onwards, let's see what is it..just wait and watch. If it increases in next few days, I will go for test as well.
I am going to work from home tomorrow onwards, let's see what is it..just wait and watch. If it increases in next few days, I will go for test as well.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Dreams are still haunting me.
Dream started from a room, where a lady comes and ask me some questions. I later realised that she called me at her home to know about some guy who was going to marry her daughter. And because I know this guy, so she wanted to inquire about him from me. Above all this, I very well know her daughter and her mom doesn't know this. The worst part is that I like this girl madly and girl doesn't want me to be around her. So situation is , if she(her daughter) saw me here in her house, she will probably gone mad.
I was sitting on the sofa, waiting aunt to come and ask quickly whatever she wanted to ask because I was afraid of her daughter to come. It was working day so there was still some time left her to come from office. As soon as I get any noice from door side, I suddenly feel fear and I know exact sentences what she will say to me if she is the one that I am not expecting. Whenever I saw her, I certainly feel a pleasing sensation and I enjoyed those moments so much that I forget other things. My eyes do not want to move from her face. I am quite sure, I am not afraid of her, but afraid of her reaction whenever she faces me, her reaction clearly says..You moron, please leave me…although she smiles.
Anyway I was waiting for aunt to come. Here she comes and ask few questions about that guy and I at that moment realised she likes that guy for her daughter but she wants one more confirmation. I felt so much jealous and off course disappointed. Then again she went back to kitchen. I suddenly heard a knock on the door, I saw some body behind the curtain of main door, but I couldn't see the face, but I can see the white 'salwar' which was swaying because of wind, this person is female in white dress. Aunt came and saw who was at the door, and found a neighbour girl. I took a deep breath, I was almost going to say , thank god !!
After few minutes, I heard one more knock on the door. Now this time she was here. She entered in the room, but she did not see me. For letting her know that I was here, I said 'hi' . She looked at me in shock and said -'Tum yahan'. This sounds very normal but the tone was different as if she was saying 'tum yahan bhi…mummy, what is he doing here'. Expressions says everything even the words that you don't utter. I can not explain the feeling that I had at that moment, I want to tell her the same feelings 100 more times that I already told her but it didn't matter to her at that moment nor now.
Anyway somehow some pointless talking was happening at that moment, I didn't want to be part of that talking , but couldn't do anything. She was looking so happy with her marriage, and I fool was standing there and looking at her, still can not believe that she is with her fiancé. Yes, I felt fully jealous, he was looking joker to me , I don't know whether he was or not. My dreams were shattered like they were nothing. I couldn't resist myself being upset. I left the house.
Feeling about the dream is complex, it's mixture of happiness and disappointment. Happiness because, I got a chance to see her that gives me so much energy and happiness. Disappointment..No need to say. This was very early morning dream and I believe that early morning dreams come true….Ahh, No.
I was sitting on the sofa, waiting aunt to come and ask quickly whatever she wanted to ask because I was afraid of her daughter to come. It was working day so there was still some time left her to come from office. As soon as I get any noice from door side, I suddenly feel fear and I know exact sentences what she will say to me if she is the one that I am not expecting. Whenever I saw her, I certainly feel a pleasing sensation and I enjoyed those moments so much that I forget other things. My eyes do not want to move from her face. I am quite sure, I am not afraid of her, but afraid of her reaction whenever she faces me, her reaction clearly says..You moron, please leave me…although she smiles.
Anyway I was waiting for aunt to come. Here she comes and ask few questions about that guy and I at that moment realised she likes that guy for her daughter but she wants one more confirmation. I felt so much jealous and off course disappointed. Then again she went back to kitchen. I suddenly heard a knock on the door, I saw some body behind the curtain of main door, but I couldn't see the face, but I can see the white 'salwar' which was swaying because of wind, this person is female in white dress. Aunt came and saw who was at the door, and found a neighbour girl. I took a deep breath, I was almost going to say , thank god !!
After few minutes, I heard one more knock on the door. Now this time she was here. She entered in the room, but she did not see me. For letting her know that I was here, I said 'hi' . She looked at me in shock and said -'Tum yahan'. This sounds very normal but the tone was different as if she was saying 'tum yahan bhi…mummy, what is he doing here'. Expressions says everything even the words that you don't utter. I can not explain the feeling that I had at that moment, I want to tell her the same feelings 100 more times that I already told her but it didn't matter to her at that moment nor now.
Anyway somehow some pointless talking was happening at that moment, I didn't want to be part of that talking , but couldn't do anything. She was looking so happy with her marriage, and I fool was standing there and looking at her, still can not believe that she is with her fiancé. Yes, I felt fully jealous, he was looking joker to me , I don't know whether he was or not. My dreams were shattered like they were nothing. I couldn't resist myself being upset. I left the house.
Feeling about the dream is complex, it's mixture of happiness and disappointment. Happiness because, I got a chance to see her that gives me so much energy and happiness. Disappointment..No need to say. This was very early morning dream and I believe that early morning dreams come true….Ahh, No.
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Respect in life is everything
There was a session by Kiran Bedi (IPS officer) in SAP Labs a month ago. Although SAP organises lots of these kind of sessions by different personalities like Sunil Gavaskar etc.. But I didn't see so much crowd that I had seen in Kiran bedi's session. It was full town hall meeting. Even people were standing behind the stage. And simple reason behind this amazing gathering is respect. We all respect that lady a lot, that's why we were excited to just see her and listen what she says. In IIT also lots of famous personalities were invited like singers, poets...but I didn't feel so much excitment from inside. It was just ok to see them. It doesn't mean that I don't have respect for them. It is different kind of feeling. If one can earn this much respect, then I think he/she doesn't need anything else in life.
In this session people were just whistling on her jokes and laughing with her but next moment there was pin point silence when she started discussing some serious issues. She was perfect mixture of strictness and softness.
And important thing is that she is very simple person. I saw her again on bangalore airport when I reached there to see off my brother. As I turned back she was just behind me. One old man and a little boy were there with her, they came to see her off. I was continuously looking at this scene. What I saw, is not explainable in words. I can clearly see plenty of respect and politeness on old man face for her. Generally when we see off our parents or brother and sister, we either touches their feet or hug them. Because this old man was not any of them for her, so it was obvious he can not greet like this but how he expressed his feelings, was amazing. I think I would say it was better than touching feets. It was appearing like his expression is saying, mam, you are great and I feel very proud to be with you at this moment. It was just for 2-3 seconds, but I think she also felt that. She smiled and moved from there. I was still there, thinking whether I should approach to her, atleast for saying good morning mam. But I was just nervous, because of her personality and I thought, may be she would not like meeting strangers like this on airport. So I stayed back. But honestly it was nice feeling to see her so closely.
You can never earn so much joy or satisfaction by earning crores of money, that's what I think.
In this session people were just whistling on her jokes and laughing with her but next moment there was pin point silence when she started discussing some serious issues. She was perfect mixture of strictness and softness.
And important thing is that she is very simple person. I saw her again on bangalore airport when I reached there to see off my brother. As I turned back she was just behind me. One old man and a little boy were there with her, they came to see her off. I was continuously looking at this scene. What I saw, is not explainable in words. I can clearly see plenty of respect and politeness on old man face for her. Generally when we see off our parents or brother and sister, we either touches their feet or hug them. Because this old man was not any of them for her, so it was obvious he can not greet like this but how he expressed his feelings, was amazing. I think I would say it was better than touching feets. It was appearing like his expression is saying, mam, you are great and I feel very proud to be with you at this moment. It was just for 2-3 seconds, but I think she also felt that. She smiled and moved from there. I was still there, thinking whether I should approach to her, atleast for saying good morning mam. But I was just nervous, because of her personality and I thought, may be she would not like meeting strangers like this on airport. So I stayed back. But honestly it was nice feeling to see her so closely.
You can never earn so much joy or satisfaction by earning crores of money, that's what I think.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Feeling Guilty
I was returning from office. My office is in whitefield, bangalore and this place is 28 km away from home. We moved few meters, all of a sudden bus stopped. I saw outside from windown pane, and I saw jammed road, full of traffic. There is no place even for a cycle to move. Just for 10 km, bus took 1 hr 15 min. Yes this is frustrating, instead of feeling frustration with this traffic I was feeling guilty. Why this kind of weird feeling suddenly started haunting me. When I don't see any solution for a problem, this feeling comes because I don't see any contribution from my side so I don't have any right to blaim anyone.
This feeling didnot stop there, I started thinking more weird things. I was thinking, I am s/w engineer, can I develop any software which can somehow manage or reduce this junk. But unfortunately any s/w cannot solve this problem. So I started thinking about any solution which I can propose or give to anyone who is authorized to implement. But after lot of brainstorming I came back to the point where I started, no solution from my side. So this feeling of guilt continued.
Not only traffic there are hundreds of issue we are facing daily -
What am i doing when a traffic police takes bribe openly ?
What is my action when a bomb blasts in my colony koramangala?
Why I am not joining politics if I know they are noy doing their duties honestly ?
What...
There is no end of this 'what' and 'why' list. But honestly speaking I am just looking whatever is happening around me, I can escape by saying what can I do , I am working in different field, and I don't see any way to help and people are there to do and they are not doing properly. But I know this is not an excuse.
This feeling didnot stop there, I started thinking more weird things. I was thinking, I am s/w engineer, can I develop any software which can somehow manage or reduce this junk. But unfortunately any s/w cannot solve this problem. So I started thinking about any solution which I can propose or give to anyone who is authorized to implement. But after lot of brainstorming I came back to the point where I started, no solution from my side. So this feeling of guilt continued.
Not only traffic there are hundreds of issue we are facing daily -
What am i doing when a traffic police takes bribe openly ?
What is my action when a bomb blasts in my colony koramangala?
Why I am not joining politics if I know they are noy doing their duties honestly ?
What...
There is no end of this 'what' and 'why' list. But honestly speaking I am just looking whatever is happening around me, I can escape by saying what can I do , I am working in different field, and I don't see any way to help and people are there to do and they are not doing properly. But I know this is not an excuse.
life is waste without music...
Keyboard is the only instrument for which I have always shown interst in learning. In college also I tried a lot to get classes, but somehow it could not be possible, because I never saw a city worse than kanpur where you can not get a institute nearby. One teacher came for 2 days and left. For guitar there was no problem. Any way finally after a long time I found a nice place in bangalore.
Although I like other instruments also but this is different than others. It has already been 4 month, I joined classes. Interestingly I didnot miss a single class, infact you can say single minute. I like to go there and forget about rest of the world, just enjoy that 2 hrs. This is very good school nearby my home, where lots of 5-12 yrs old kids come and learn keyboard, drums etc. When I joined, there were only kids and few more person with me. This was very frustrating, not a single person of my age. Almost 2 months I used to go and spending as much time as I can with teacher, because there were less junta so it was gud for me to personally sit with teacher and learn. In few months ppl started coming and now class has good strength, all kinds of person. But I feel like I am also a teacher, because in terms of learning I crossed others who joined before me. So now after 4 months, it's like my own place, may be in few months I will be able to help others too :)
Although I like other instruments also but this is different than others. It has already been 4 month, I joined classes. Interestingly I didnot miss a single class, infact you can say single minute. I like to go there and forget about rest of the world, just enjoy that 2 hrs. This is very good school nearby my home, where lots of 5-12 yrs old kids come and learn keyboard, drums etc. When I joined, there were only kids and few more person with me. This was very frustrating, not a single person of my age. Almost 2 months I used to go and spending as much time as I can with teacher, because there were less junta so it was gud for me to personally sit with teacher and learn. In few months ppl started coming and now class has good strength, all kinds of person. But I feel like I am also a teacher, because in terms of learning I crossed others who joined before me. So now after 4 months, it's like my own place, may be in few months I will be able to help others too :)
Friday, August 08, 2008
shocks
Before going to germany, I used to get amazed by hearing that on western highway from pune to bombay, 100 km/h speed is normal and I used to think..wow.
But when I travelled 100-120 kms from frankfurt to mannheim, I was stunned when I looked at meter, it was showing 180 km/h and we were in third lane, means slowest lane. And in the cab we were not at all feeling that we were going at that speed. 180 km/h and still the driving is so smooth.
and some BMWs were crossing more that 200 km/h speed through first and second lane...it was insult for highways, if we drive at 120 or 140.
I was shocked second time, when I went to munich, i came out from train station. As we see in india, cabs or taxis just outside train stations. I found around 50 mercedez as a taxi. This was really shocking to see...
Trains are like heaven there. I was in first compartment, first row with my friends, means just back seat of driver. There was a glass door b/w driver and us. This train was not electicity train because it is for small villages and hills stations, so it was moving very slowly...and there is an instruction written, whenever u want to get off, just press a button above ur seat...nice
About people there, as far as i felt in mannheim, 12 days in trams, ppl out there are very responsible, means even if there is no checking in trams for tickets , but no body catches tram without ticket...it was gud to see.
But when I travelled 100-120 kms from frankfurt to mannheim, I was stunned when I looked at meter, it was showing 180 km/h and we were in third lane, means slowest lane. And in the cab we were not at all feeling that we were going at that speed. 180 km/h and still the driving is so smooth.
and some BMWs were crossing more that 200 km/h speed through first and second lane...it was insult for highways, if we drive at 120 or 140.
I was shocked second time, when I went to munich, i came out from train station. As we see in india, cabs or taxis just outside train stations. I found around 50 mercedez as a taxi. This was really shocking to see...
Trains are like heaven there. I was in first compartment, first row with my friends, means just back seat of driver. There was a glass door b/w driver and us. This train was not electicity train because it is for small villages and hills stations, so it was moving very slowly...and there is an instruction written, whenever u want to get off, just press a button above ur seat...nice
About people there, as far as i felt in mannheim, 12 days in trams, ppl out there are very responsible, means even if there is no checking in trams for tickets , but no body catches tram without ticket...it was gud to see.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
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